This year’s self-portrait marks the third painting in my Self Portrait Project, and in many ways, it feels like the most transformative piece yet. Looking at it now, I can’t help but feel like this painting captures not only the evolution of my artistic style but also the profound personal growth I’ve experienced over the past year.
I approached this portrait differently than the last two. I wanted it to reflect this strange yet interesting metamorphosis I’ve been going through. A shedding of old layers, an emergence of someone wiser, healthier, and more self-assured. In this painting, I chose to depict my face within my face, the features morphing together in a way that suggests an inner version of myself still lingering. But instead of clinging to the past, this portrait shows the healthier, more authentic version of me coming through, taking center stage.
One of my favorite things about this piece is the color palette. While it’s rooted in stark black and white, the subtle pops of fuchsia and teal breathe life into her. These colors feel symbolic of the journey I’ve been on. They’re soft but striking, like little bursts of light breaking through the darkness. The brushstrokes are bold, deliberate, and unapologetic, reflecting the confidence I’ve started to reclaim. The swirling lines around my face feel almost like a cocoon, unraveling to reveal something new and beautiful.
It’s a metamorphosis—a moment of becoming.
During this year, I turned 27, and in ten days, I’ll be a month shy of one year sober. That’s a sentence I never imagined writing. I used to drink every day and was the biggest party animal, convinced I couldn’t function without it. But 2024 was the year I decided I wasn’t going to join the “27 Club.” I got sober, stayed away from white lighters (just to prove a strange point to myself), and made it through the year stronger than I ever thought I could. It’s insane to think about, but it’s also one of the accomplishments I’m most proud of. This painting is a testament to that.
Looking at this portrait, I see someone who’s grown up a bit. My face feels more defined; I don’t look like a kid anymore. There’s a maturity in the features, a confidence in the gaze. I spent this past year getting comfortable with myself, settling into a new place, and embracing my passions. Painting, gallery hopping, meeting new people, cooking, reading, spending time with loved ones—these things have become the foundation of my happiness. I finally feel like I’m living a life that’s true to who I am.
As I enter the beginning of 2025, I can’t help but feel excited. There’s an energy about this year that feels different, like it’s going to be a turning point.
My painting has gotten better, I’ve gotten better, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I know who I am. This self-portrait captures that feeling—of transformation, of growth, of stepping into the future with hope and determination.
Here’s to 2025: my year, my metamorphosis, my becoming.
